Let me preface this by saying that when the dirt princess and I go to the grocery story, she WANTS TO HELP. Big time. And when she WANTS TO HELP, that can be satisfied usually by handing her whatever I've picked off the shelf to put in the cart. She holds on to it until I find the next object, at which point she usually lays the current object aside or helpfully turns and drops it in to the cart behind her. And she does this while charming the boogers out of everybody who works there and some of the shoppers.
The only exception is when I hand her unpackaged produce. This started as an attempt to show her what different things were that we were going to eat. I would hold up a tomato and say "This is a tomato!" and she would happily grab at it and hold it until I held up the bag with several more tomatoes in it, at which time she dropped it in among the others of its kind.
Sometimes this backfires, though. See, my kid is curious and loves to learn and she's still at the stage where things go in the mouth. Parents are familiar with this across the board, so I won't explain.
Earlier this year, winter I believe, I was picking potatoes up for reasons I can't remember. I held up a big ol' Idaho baking potato and told my daughter "This is a potato!" Forgetting at that moment that I also referred to hash browns and french fries as "potatoes" so she would understand what she was about to eat.
By the time I had turned back to her with a bag filled with more potatoes, she had scraped a half inch gap in to the top of the one I had given her, was making a face, and clenching the potato closely to her. When I attempted to get her to put it in the bag, for some reason that time she refused, holding it close to her chest.
I jokingly asked "Is that your pet potato?" to which she nodded, as she does almost any time I ask her a question. And onward we went through the grocery store, my child clutching this potato for dear life.
I couldn't put it back because the kid had obviously drooled all over it and torn it up, so I was resigned to taking it home and making something out of it. It got all the way to checkout with my daughter holding it before she grumpily let it go to be weighed and rung up.
I set the potato aside and almost forgot about it until one day I remembered I had NOT used that one with the others in the dish I'd made (the top turned gnarly colors and I was concerned about cooking it for someone) and that it was still in my kitchen somewhere. I sought it out, found it nestled behind some bananas on our toaster (I don't know... it must've seemed like a good resting spot) and realized with surprise that the thing had green sprouts coming out of it!
I have big plans for my dream garden, and one of those is having a potato "tower" to grow my own potatoes in. When I saw those sprouts, I realized I could start growing the potatoes right now, just keep it in a pot and size up as necessary until I had the proper space for it. With great excitement I sectioned it out so each part had two "eyes" sprouting, and buried it in a mixture of potting soil and coffee grounds.
Don't do that. It's horrible, retains moisture, and I ended up losing three of the four sections to rot. At that time the 4 sections of 6 that had survived being in a dish with standing water went on to be transplanted to an apothecary jar. I thought it might be cool to see the roots grow in it. I labeled it in case people would be coming in to see the house, as I still had pipe dreams of getting the place on the market back in January/February. It just seemed important that people know WHY I had an apothecary jar full of dirt chilling on my pie cooling rach-cum-plant stand.
I promptly left it to its own devices, thinking that it would go slowly due to the lack of sunlight and heat until I opened it one day and OMG WHAT IS THIS THING??
I was happy that I would have one potato vine when I peaked in one day and....... a neighbor??
The only problem was that apothecary jars offer no drainage, and coffee grounds and dirt apparently don't drain worth a galldang. I have now tested this three times by accident, trust me... they do not. So a fine whitish blue fungus grew on the surface of the soil and eventually took out one of the vines.
I decided to transplant the other one to try and save it, and when I dug up the dirt, the stuff around the other potato just smelled of solid rot. There wasn't even anything left of the potato or plant, just black smoosh. So I quickly got the other plant out of there, dumped the entire thing of corrupted dirt, set it on fire with napalm, then sanitized it so that nothing would ever grow on the surface of that glass. Except I'm exaggerating, I just ran it through the dishwasher. The other vine, though, went to its happy home in a pot with drainage and plain, boring potting soil. It even had two tiny buds on it that looked like they might become potatoes!
I actually ended up having to move it from THAT pot in to an outdoor-ready pot, to accommodate the root growth and the inch or two of extra growth the vine put out.
I ended up accidentally tearing some of the roots, so it was only left with a couple to try and grow from. I was concerned for a bit, but it kept green. It stayed about 2 inches tall from then until I moved it outside to hang with the strawberries, trying to see if the sun and outdoor life would suit it. For size reference, that pot is about 6 inches tall.
In the meantime, we were in the grocery store yesterday when I tried again, saying "This is a peach!" and watched her take a tentative bite from its flesh (we only pick up veggies and fruits we're buying anyway, as an aside. I don't let her chew on stuff we don't intend to use) chuckling that we might have a pet peach tree soon.... except....
...nope. Not this time. It was cleaned to the stone before we even got home and the pit had to be tossed before it could get sticky and end up in dirt princess's hair. Which is where all sticky things end up lately.
Ah well. Another time then. I still have three more peaches waiting to be snacked on, anyway.....
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